We spend a lot of time on Parent Talk Radio helping parents nurture the behavior and attitudes they want to encourage and see grow. One of the most powerful ways to grow character in your child is to nurture it by seeing it, calling it out and praising it. Character First put out a list of 10 ways to do this effectively. I've listed those 10 ways with my thoughts.

1. 1)Praise Character Not Just Achievement  - Praising just the achievement does not build anything in a child. In fact, it can create stress for the performance driven child. Praising achievement does not tell the child anything about themselves. The focus is on the task or the outward behavior. Praising character tells a child what you value and what you see in them. Sometimes children do not react positively to praise, this is often because they have learned that praise is only a sneaky way you get them to do what you want them to do. Praising character should be received much more enthusiastically because the character trait is ASSIGNED to the child. "This is what I see in you!" It doesn't leave the child wondering what you want them to do in the future, just that you already see in them.
   

2. 2)Look for Actions and Attitudes - You have to look at outward behaviors to find character. The trick is to look beyond the behavior to see the imbedded character trait. For example:
   

A Child being on time - Punctuality

Sharing - Gentleness

Planning ahead - Orderliness

Following directions - Obedience

Positive attitude - Joyfulness

Completing a difficult task - Thoroughness

Good manners - Deference

3. 3)Praise Qualities You Want to Develop - Don't praise a character trait you don't really see in your child. Your praise has to be truthful. But if you see your child be indifferent TEN times and see them show compassion ONE time, you can say, "What I saw in you today was a great capacity for compassion".
   

4. 4)Schedule Time to Praise - Make a tradition, at Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc. of taking time to verbally acknowledge the character  traits you are seeing your child develop. We do this at work in annual or semi annual reviews, why not with our kids?
   

5. 5)Praise the Motivation Behind the Work - Look at the attitudes and effort behind the outward behavior before you determine there is character there. It is important that the child match the character you are praising with what is REALLY going on inside themselves. If the child is cleaning their room because they don't want to be embarrassed by someone who is coming over, don't call it obedience or orderliness. It is important to sleuth out the motive. Is the motive for cleaning the room just to avoid embarrassment, or is the goal not to offend the person who will be entering it? If the latter is the case it can be praised as Deference (Deference is - limiting my freedom so I don't offend the tastes of those around me).
   

6. 6)Avoid Flattery - people flatter because they want something. Don't praise character because you want something out of your child. (You are SO responsible!  Will you take care of the neighbor's cat while they are away?) Praising character is simply telling a child what you see in them. No future expectations or demands are part of the attitude behind your praise. Just admiration of a character trait in them. Flattery cheapens your praise and kids will learn to repel it.
   

7. 7)Separate Praise From Correction - Don't make praise a prelude to correction. You are very obedient BUT you were careless with the trash when you took it to the street and it spilled. You are very dependable BUT you need to be more flexible. If you want your praise to truly nurture and grow good character you need to protect its virility. Children will learn to flinch when you begin to praise if it is followed by correction. When correcting a child, deal with the behavior you want to stop. Problems solve it openly and positively when the child is in a cooperative mode. This tells them you are in charge and not afraid to tackle problems. Empty praise before problem solving can communicate that you are afraid of the issues and need to use praise to sneak up to the topic.
   

8. 8)Learn the Character Qualities and Definitions - go to characterfirst.com and buy a very inexpensive pocket guide (Character Determines Success). It lists all 49 character traits and their definitions. You can also buy a large poster of all 49 traits as well.
   

9. 9)Pass on Praise to Others - Remember, kids learn best when parents MODEL it. When you are praised show the character trait of Gratefulness and graciously accept the complement (Thank you!). Then pass the praise onto others, "I couldn't have done it without . . . "
   

10. 10) Communicate in Different Ways - There are many ways to praise a child -
    

Notes  - Some kids get more out praise that is written down. Put 'em in their lunch - under their pillow - taped to their toothbrush. Have fun with it. Model the character trait of Creativity.

Added Responsibilities - Certain character traits earn extra freedom or trust with more responsibility. For example, Self-control. If a child shows he or she has enough self control they can be trusted to stay home alone, own a dog or walk home from school, etc.

Be creative in praising your child's character and have fun!